Tip 1

Check your pockets.

How many money coins are in there? Open your wallet- how many notes do you have? Hmm. Look about the place, any coins fallen down behind the couch? What about in the bottom of your bag? How much money do you need to drink this afternoon… better go the bank.

Hang on.

STOP.

Better to ask, “How much money can I afford to drink away today?” I know this won’t stop you trotting off to the bank but it might just make you conscious of your behaviour. (Too many times I have found my legs walking off to the bank and into the bottle shop without so much as a second thought–mainly because there wasn’t a first one!). Just stop for a minute and consider your cash flow–it’s only a tip.

Tip 2

The Car

Where is it? Is it locked? Where are your keys? If you intend to drink today hide your keys from yourself. I don’t care who you think you are sober, when you are drunk you think you are invincible… and possibly God’s gift to everyone.

Do us all a favour and don’t get in the car.

You may think I have just given my consent to go ahead and drink yourself away today. Possibly, but before you do, ask yourself, “Do I have to go anywhere today? To the shops? Do I have something for dinner? Have I got enough nappies for the baby?” If you have something you need to do, do it now, BEFORE you start drinking. Go on. Get it out of the way. Then you can have a drink.

Just stop for a minute and think– driving after drink? It’s just stupid; you are cleverer than that. Plan ahead and make it unnecessary.

Tip 3

Don’t buy chilled anything. It always tastes better.

Tip 4

Chill the water.

Tip 5

Have Something to Do

As basic as it sounds, actually having something to do with your hands stops you drinking quite so quickly (and not drinking as quickly helps you drink less). It can be anything really.

• Sort through photographs (we tend to be a sentimental lot)
• write (a letter?)
• draw ( abstract patterns will do)
• sew ( ok… I get it)
• do a puzzle (jigsaws can be surprisingly gratifying)
• try a crossword (easy, as difficult ones will leave too much idle time)
• cook, clean, tidy (we are excellent at this)
• surf the net (watch where you click)
• garden
• reupholster a chair!
• Whatever

Reading is not helpful as the words become blurred too quickly and you’ll give it away and drink more. (And TV is simply dangerous in its ‘mind-numbing-ness ‘)

NB: Talking on the phone?

Well, you’ll soon give yourself away. Could call a tolerant friend. But, pretty much unless you are calling for help, better to occupy those hands and keep out of trouble.

Tip 6

Eat (and be merry if you must)

Eat food. Good food. Not soup. Not ice-cream. Not snacks. Not even chocolate.

Put cheese on a biscuit. Heat the pizza. Dip your chips. Eat lots of bread. Add vegemite. Cook a sausage? Put it on bread. Add sauce. Dare to add lettuce and a tomato.

You may not like yourself much but you need to eat.

Eating slows you down, helps ‘soak up’ alcohol, ( not to be confused with making your sober up- it simply stops you feeling so drunk really).

Try this: Cook, then Eat. It’s Simple and Useful. (By all means drink copious amounts of water but it doesn’t count as food).

Tip 7

Want to Drink Less.

This could be the real clincher for you.

If you WANT to drink less, then surely you will- that is if you’re not flat out disliking yourself, punishing yourself or hatching elaborate plans of self-sabotage…

If you want to drink less because you like yourself better sober then that’s a good reason.

If you want to drink less because you get more done as a sober person then that’s a good reason, too.

If you want to drink less because you are safer sober than that’s a fair reason too.

But if you want to drink less because you’re sick of drinking so much then that’s reason enough.

Try it now.

Tip it down the sink.

Stop.

Even for a minute.

Cheers.